The ‘Dredge Report

Yeah, I’m moving again.  Blame my landlord.  Apparently, owning 3 properties in the greater Portland area precludes him from being able to refinance his own, $850K, negative amortization mortgage.  He’s one of those guys that we read about during the influx of articles about the housing bust and the morons who took on mortgages they couldn’t afford.  So, it’s sad.  He had pledged that we could “re-up the lease times infinity,” but now he needs to unload this house, fast, and it’s on the market.  It’s disconcerting to have folks coming through to look at it, because I’m torn.  Do I hope for the house to sell quickly, or do I hope for it to stay on the market and wither?  I hope for a quick sale at a reduced price, because it’s going to be written into the terms of sale that the new owners must buy the oil currently in our oil tank, and if that doesn’t happen, I’m out $200.

Sadly, I know that it will sell, purely for the neighborhood it’s in.  Alberta is 75% gentrified, and the last remaining Portland yuppies without equity are probably drooling at the prospect of a 4BR/2BA fixer-upper in the area.  Kinda sucks for us, though. Our third roommate, B., who is without question the best 23-year-old gay roommate I’ve ever had, has to move out this week.  He was going to stay and re-up the lease with us, but since we have to move by August 1, and he’s traveling most of July, he’s gotta jet.  This also means that RV and I will separate for different digs, which is even sadder.  We are consummate Platonic Life Partners, and it’s going to be extra-weird not sharing a household together.  For the past year we’ve split rent, utilities, expenses, wine-purchasing-duties, chores, errands, cooking-duties, bad-TV-watching-responsibilities, and more.  She’s my freaking medical power-of-attorney!  How we don’t get a tax break for this kind of relationship, I’ll never understand.

The good news is that I’ve found a new place, and it is a bit like the Holy Grail of Portland Apartments.  I’m moving into a 2BR/2BA where another girl currently lives, and it’s pretty great. Big place, beautiful light, DISHWASHER!!!!!!!!!!!, plenty of closet space, cat-friendly, and did I mention it’s in the most coveted location possible?  For me, anyway.  It’s smack-dab in the center of Portland on the east side, and it means that I’ll be within a block or two of approximately 800 great restaurants, bars, movie theaters, parks, etc. And all for a price that’s a few hundred dollars less than what I’m currently paying, when you include utilities. More on this later.  But again, let me plead for you (you!) reading this to come visit Portland.  There’s a place for you to stay, a good place, a place next to other good places.   I’m pretty psyched.